What must happen to reduce abuse against women and children

I am a trained advocate and person with lived experience of partner violence. Both experience and training work together to achieve better outcomes: reducing violence in our communities and supporting victims in relevant and meaningful ways.

Family, domestic and sexual violence is a national crisis, and we need better outcomes now more than ever.

Commitment is needed across the prevention, early intervention, response and recovery space for Australian governments to truly lead a transformational shift in our progress towards ending domestic, family, and sexual violence.

For those unsure what the above terms mean in relation to domestic violence:

Prevention or primary prevention is an approach that works to change the underlying social conditions that produce and drive violence against women, and that excuse, justify or even promote it. It works across the whole population to address the attitudes, norms, practices, structures, and power imbalances that drive violence against women. What is primary prevention?  

Early intervention approaches aim to keep people safe and change attitudes and behaviours or build skills of individuals or groups who are at risk, or exhibiting early signs, of using or experiencing domestic and family violence. These approaches seek to prevent escalation and address issues arising from the experience of domestic and family violence. More information here.

The safety and wellbeing of adult and child survivors of domestic and family violence is the priority of any response. Risk must be identified, comprehensively assessed, and appropriately responded to by holding the perpetrator responsible and accountable for their behaviour and actions. More information here.

Recovery in the context of domestic violence refers to the process of healing and rebuilding one’s life after experiencing abuse. It is a complex and ongoing process that can involve physical, emotional and psychological healing. Recovery can include seeking medical attention, therapy, and support from family and friends.

It is important to note that recovery is a process unique to each individual – there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Some people find it helpful to seek professional help, while others may prefer to rely on their own coping mechanisms. Regardless of the approach, recovery is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion and support.                              

In victims and service workers’ opinion, positive outcomes are best realised when Commonwealth, state and territory governments and community organisations work closely together to promote ambitious, clear and measurable targets, making sure there is action attached to it. We want gender equality and a marked reduction of violence against women and children.

In this work, victim-survivors have priority. Women’s experiences must be at the centre of what is proposed to support victims and reduce violence.

It is also important that supports fall under a person-centred system approach. With this approach, services are aware of each other, and referral pathways are clearly established. This upholds victim-survivors’ confidentiality and limits the number of times they must retell their story.

It is of necessity for a reduction of violence against women and children to educate the public on terminology-for example terms including consent, coercive control, domestic and family violence, bystander and active bystander, stealthing, non-fatal strangulation and traumatic brain injury because of partner violence.

Programs are essential that make information readily available to the public regarding spotting an abusive relationship and how to help someone in one, what we’re getting wrong about domestic violence when incidents of violence and homicide against women and children are becoming more prevalent and domestic violence is at unprecedented levels despite hundreds of millions spent, why victims don’t leave the abuser, and why women trying to leave an abuser must make an impossible choice between violence and poverty/homelessness.

A focus on key areas of concern means focus on intimate partner homicide, sexual violence and harassment, economic financial abuse and tech-facilitated abuse.

Addressing structural barriers to achieving change: build the workforce and train on the ground, frontline service staff to use trauma informed practice when dealing with victims, target funding to where it’s needed (victims with lived experience know what’s needed most, nothing for us without us).

Safe, affordable, and accessible housing is key to ending violence against women and children.

Improving the family law system (Lighthouse Project).

improving criminal justice responses so that people who choose to use violence and abuse are held accountable. This includes training police and equivalent frontline services (such as the Magistrates Court) so that the trend in police misidentifying victim-survivors as abuse perpetrators doesn’t happen and correctly identifying the primary aggressor and the primary victim becomes the standard procedure.

Victims need established projects with a focus on prioritising the health and well-being of victims by targeting those who perpetuate violence. Such projects that aim to prevent violence, intervene early with vulnerable communities, support victims by holding perpetrators accountable, deliver evidence-based quality services to make victims safer and support their recovery, and identify systemic issues in the handling of domestic violence cases by law enforcement agencies and make recommendations to address these issues.

Primary prevention and early intervention (stopping abuse from escalating) means engage men and boys in the solution through education in school curriculums, especially about achieving gender equality and respectful communicating, consent, and coercive control, dispelling myths and misconceptions to reduce victim stigma.

Education programs are needed to teach drivers of domestic violence such as condoning of violence against women, men’s control of decision-making and limits to women’s independence in public and private life, dominant forms of masculinity and rigid gender stereotyping, male peer relations and cultures of masculinity that emphasise aggression, dominance and control.

Greater emphasis needs to be placed on violence faced by children, who should be recognised as victims in their own right.

Housing must be at the forefront of any new plan and significant investment in social housing for people fleeing violence, including long-term housing options.                      

Not enough is said about changing male abusive behaviour, and the lack of supports for men such as men’s behaviour change programs. Focus needs to be on work with men and boys to disrupt and prevent the attitudes and behaviours that can lead to violence. A national minimum standard for men’s programs needs to be established.

Highlighting how friends and family of abusers enable abusive behaviour when they dismiss, diminish or excuse the perpetrator’s actions and therefore not holding the abuser accountable, is important.

. . .

Prominent indigenous leaders have been calling for a standalone plan to deal with the disproportionately high rates of violence faced by Aboriginal women, arguing a one-size-fits-all approach would not yield improvements. Government must work in genuine partnership with indigenous communities to develop trust and a tailor-made plan.

All plans to address violence need to look closely at violence experienced by often-marginalised groups -– Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women and children, LGBTQIA+ communities, people with a disability, women living in rural areas, and migrant and refugee women.

Legal definitions of sexual consent vary between states and territories; there is a need to standardise these nationally.

Summary of needs

A national register: data storage, police training, trauma-informed practice to reduce perpetrator misidentification.

Low cost, crisis, and transitional housing.

Adequate resources to accommodate the growing numbers coming forward disclosing partner abuse and seeking help for that abuse. Increased waiting list and longer waiting, only prioritised people in crisis receiving support. No support in regional and remote towns.

Targeted education to reduce myths and misconceptions, victim blaming, addressing the decreased understanding of meaning of consent (meaning different across states)

Men’s behavioural change groups-focus on drivers of DV-gender inequality, need for power and control and toxic stereotypes of masculinity. Establish national minimum standard for men’s programs.

Focus on family and friends of abusers who enable an abuser to continue to abuse without accountability and consequences from their actions, when they diminish, dismiss and excuse perpetrators’ negative behaviours.

Person-centred system approach – services aware of each other and referral pathways clearly established so survivors’ confidentiality is upheld and the number of times they have to tell their story limited.


Deborah Thomson moved to Tasmania with her daughter in 2010, and now lives with her partner of nine years and a parrot. She moved to escape domestic violence and, inspired by her new partner, wrote her first book, Whose Life Is It Anyway? Recognising and Surviving Domestic Violence, to help others recognise abuse (and in particular coercive control), in the home, and to increase their motivation to leave earlier. After publishing her first book, she became a trained advocate through Engender Equality, a non-government Tasmanian organisation working with people and communities impacted by family violence. Deborah Thomson advocates for survivors of family violence, speaking at domestic violence events across Tasmania, through media channels and podcasts. She recently completed a second book, detailing lived experience with domestic violence by her then husband, spanning 17 years from 1985 to 2003. This book is now used in Tasmania as an information resource for family violence counsellors and students on practicals.


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