Peter Sharp Memorial Award
Commended - Junior section
Ogilvie High School
The grainy sand pushes its way through my toes, and in every gap on my feet. It would be a nightmare to remove, but I have no intention to. Most people come to the beach with plans to return to that dark, grey city, but that never crosses my mind. I never want to go back, I’m sick of only ever seeing grey, sick of brown smoke smothering everything and never seeing blue sky.
Footprints lace the beach, each leading to their own forgotten adventure. They cover miles of shoreline which twists and turns around ongoing jagged edges. Do we have connections to lost footprints? Will we just be forgotten like them? Every step is agony, but less painful than the previous. My mind is filled with my life, a life I came here to forget. I watch as the waves go in and out. I just want my whole life to be washed away in the sea, like a stone that’s been tossed and swallowed up by the ocean never to be seen again.
It seems so simple to others. They know all the right things to say, but it’s never that easy. They can easily tell you to “just relax in the countryside” or just “go home and rest, everything will be better in the morning”. But as someone on the outside, they have no idea. Everything is so black and white to them. Some days you just wish you never woke up. Or you think today’s different, but they all turn out the same. Nothing ever changes.
I will walk this beach until there is no beach left to walk, then I will continue walking anywhere to get away from this place. I will walk to the end of this country, then the end of the world. I will never stop until I get far enough to forget everything about this place. I will walk until I become someone new. If only life was that simple.
Blue and white swirls make their own strandline, brushing and chipping away at the sand, carrying off rocks and pieces of wood as hostages to a salty aquamarine grave. The sea is a place we are all cautious of and a place we admire from a distance. But once we’re in its watery grasp, we can only hope.
I turn my head to stare back at that city, the place I want to leave everything behind in. It looks the size of an ink splash on a white page. It could be seen from far away. It would never blend in. The further I walk, the more my mind wanders to the sea. It’s a place I connect with. The ocean is just like my life, my thoughts, a jumble of colours and different objects that are beaten against rocks to become something new.
As people walk around the shoreline, discovering each have mysteries tangled in their past, does life get better? Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence? Yes. Yes, it is.
I’ve tried everything to get away from my life, but nothing has ever worked. Maybe this is my chance. My chance to break away from the chains that hold me to it. Or is it another hopeless desire that only puts a dent in the chain?
The further I walk along the beach. the sand changes formation into hard rocky cliffs. Just like my life, everything so small and soft to begin with escalates to something big, hard and insurmountable. I never realised how many connections I had to the sea. The sea I’ve lived near for many years but never noticed.
Now, night covers everything like a big blanket of black. The black swallows every bit of light. All the light is gone, gone until tomorrow. Then it will once again appear, removing that blanket of black covering us all. It becomes a day, a day we look forward to. But then night comes again and we’re caught in this never-ending cycle. A cycle without which we would be lost.
I run faster through the night, each step hitting the ground so hard I almost twist my ankle. Every few moments there is a break between the trees, where the stars push their light through. It’s a light so beautiful, of twinkling hope I treasure, it’s something that may save me. The starlight bounces off the water in crystal like patterns. The water is the calmest now since I departed on this never-ending journey. But as the waves softly wash against the cliffs, a destination creeps its way into my mind.
Each step feels lighter. I’ve never felt so light before. I’ve only ever felt heavy like a boulder sentenced to the bottom of the sea – down, down, down, to meet my doom. But for once that’s not what it is. Instead I feel free. It’s a feeling I’ve only ever seen on television and tried to imagine what it must be like. But for once there is no need to imagine, because that’s exactly how I feel. I feel free, free from everything. I no longer have a heavy weight pushing me further to the ground. A heavy weight with “abyss” written on it.
Like most feelings, they only last a second, then they are gone. It’s as if they were never there. Seemingly you weren’t worthy of being free. It’s like you were drowning and someone pulls you up, but once you feel safe they throw you back to the water. I get a sick feeling in my stomach when the ground stops for a split second. Then, down was the answer, down to the depths. But will this be the end ...
… No, not yet.
